Archive for January, 2010

Let Go

The past few days I have not felt quite right.  Aware my energy level was low I began trying to figure out what to do to change things. The more I tried to figure things out the more out of control my thoughts became.

The usual tasks demanded my attention as well as some I had put off addressing for several months.  Unable to muster the energy to tackle them I finally reached the breaking point this morning in my quiet time.

Unable to figure it all out or know what to do about what felt like a mess I had created I just let go.  I prayed a prayer of total surrender and opened the flood gate of pent-up emotions.

There was an amazing release as I let go my own desires and expectations of myself and what I thought my life should look like.  I let go and let my inner spirit work it out for me.

I remembered the point along my journey when my retina detached.  Prior to that event I had worked out the perfect plan to face my fear of surgery, have the cataracts removed and get on with my life.  When I returned to work my retina detached and my sight changed drastically in a matter of moments.

Intuitively I knew it was bad.  I had no idea what was ahead.  I had come up against a situation beyond my ability to handle.  This was too big for me.  I had to surrender control of my life.

I asked my husband to take me to the river.  Once there I sat down on a rock and closed my eyes.  I could hear the rushing sound of the water as the river flowed past me.

In my mind’s eye I saw myself wrapped in a blanket much like a newborn.  Arms tucked inside I looked like a helpless baby.  I was laying inside the boat floating down the river.

At that moment I prayed a similar prayer of surrender.  I asked God to take care of me and take me wherever I needed to go.  I let go of my will and became one with the perfect will.

I am still in that boat, but occasionally I find myself trying to guide it.  That is when I feel resistance and all sorts of feelings that gently tell me to “let go“.

When I let go and all that stuff I have hung on to rushes out, my spirit fills me back up with healing love.  My energy returns.  I see things more clearly.  I begin to see that where I am and what I am doing now is perfect.  Because, I am in the center of the divine plan for my life.

What do you need to let go of today?

It is so much easier to allow the river of life to lead  you.  Then  you get to enjoy the scenery and not struggle with how to guide the boat.


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“If Jesus were here would you ask him to heal you?” my husband asked after spending three hours trying to help me sort through the thoughts that were causing me such agony.  I wanted desperately to experience faith healing again without the need for eye surgery. The emotional turmoil caused by the inner battle was devastating.  But, that one question stopped the madness and opened the way for me to see the truth.

Not only could I not ask for healing, I could not even look Jesus in the face.  I carried so much guilt over things I thought I had done wrong.  Things, in my mind that could never be forgiven.  I believed I was an awful person who deserved punishment.

That is when I began in sincere earnest to learn how to love and forgive myself.

What do you believe about yourself?

You are perfect love.

If you think thoughts about yourself that do not support that truth and choose to believe them it is time to give them up.

You are the divine expression of pure Love in the world.

Do not accept any thought that would lead you to believe that is not true.

You have the power to choose which thoughts to believe. Begin today to focus on the good thoughts about yourself.

Affirm those good thoughts over and over. One day you will begin to believe them instead of the lies you have told yourself for so long.

That is what has happened for me.  I spent many years telling myself I was not good enough.  I heard those thoughts so often I came to accept them as my truth.

Once I understood what I was doing I made myself a promise that I would do whatever it took to change.  I began to tell myself the truth.  I denied the old lies and affirmed the truth.

Over time my mind began to accept and believe the truth that I am the divine and perfect expression of Love.

You are that same perfect expression of divine Love.  Embrace it and believe it.  It’s true.

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I received a call last night from my sister that my mother was in the hospital diagnosed with congestive heart failure.  The moment I hung up the phone I began to pray prayers of healing.

As I prayed I became aware of the need to forgive my mother.  Unaware of what I needed to forgive my mother for I began to repeat prayers of forgiveness and love.

Cleansing tears flowed as my body heaved from the deep sobs.  I was aware of the cleansing power at work in my heart as I released God only knows what from my heart and soul.

Then I became conscious of the need to forgive myself.  Still unaware of what I was holding against myself or my mother I continued the statements of forgiveness and love for myself and my mother.

Eventually the tears and sobs gave way to a feeling of peace.  I was aware of  how much lighter my body felt after letting go of so much pain.  I could feel the healing warmth of Love filling up the empty places left by what had just been released.

This morning I received word my mother is showing signs of improvement

The experience reminded me of the role forgiveness plays in opening the way to experience true love. To forgive means to give up, drop, or let go.

How many unnecessary hurts and pains from the past do you hold tightly in your heart?

Have you carried them for so long you cannot really remember what happened that caused you to bury them so deeply?

If you do remember what happened, can you not see  you are so full of the pain of the past  you cannot live in the light of truth now?

As long as your heart is full of pain from the past there is no room to receive Love or share Love in this moment which is where you are living your life.

The pain of the past plugs up your heart and your life in such a way Love cannot flow freely.

If you want more Love in your life I invite you to give up everything in your heart and mind that is not loving.

In its place will flow a river of Love and Life like you have never known.

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Fear Does Not Exist

I don’t know about you, but I used to spend most of my waking hours controlled by fear.

When I was first diagnosed as legally blind I became painfully aware of how this constant state of fear had contributed to my loss of sight.

For years I struggled to drop fear from my life not really understanding what it was.  Then one day I  received this insight.

Fear does not exist unless you are thinking about something you do not want to happen.

When I understood my thoughts caused me to experience fear I became hopeful that I could one day be free from the debilitating grip of fear.

You see when you spend time thinking about things you do not want to happen you begin to imagine what it would be like if they did happen.

These thoughts cause all kinds of emotions and even physical responses to the emotions around the imagined event.

Emotions are your inner spirit telling you whether or not what you are thinking is true.  So, if you are imagining things you do not want to happen your inner spirit is telling you to stop thinking those thoughts.  They are not true.

So how do you break free from fear?

I wish I could tell you I found the secret and tomorrow you will be free.  It is not that easy.  What works for me may not work for you.

The first thing is to spend some time asking your inner spirit to guide you.  Then, be open to what comes to you.

In my case a book appeared from an unexpected place.  Then something else showed up, etc.

There are many methods.  The goal is to stop thinking about what you do not want to happen.  Instead spend time thinking about what you do want to happen.  And, spend as much time as possible being grateful for what you already have that you love.

You have the power within you to free yourself from fear.  I know you can do it.  Why not start today.

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Spirit Talk

You have a spirit inside you that is always talking to you.

Do you know how to listen to it?

And when you do listen, do you trust what you hear?

That inner spirit knows the truth about you and its job is to help you remember that truth.

Whenever you think a thought you have chosen to believe is true how you feel while you are thinking the thought is your inner spirit talking to you.

If you are feeling any emotion you consider bad you are thinking and believing something that is not the truth about you.

If you feel harmonious, peaceful, joyful, loving, etc. then your spirit is telling you what you are thinking is right for you. It is your truth.

Your job is to remember the truth of who you are and to live that truth here and now.

So how do you do that?

Spend more time each day listening to, agreeing with and believing what your spirit is telling you.

Talk to your spirit.  Ask it questions and trust what it tells you.

Get a spiral notebook and write your questions.  Then, without thinking about it write whatever comes to mind.   Do this everyday for at least a month and see what kind of insights you gain.

I spent several months asking my inner spirit these two questions everyday and recording them.  At first I did not trust the process but I kept it up.  It was amazing what I learned about myself.

The two questions were:

“Inner Spirit, what does it feel like to be inside this body today?”

“Inner Spirit, what can I do today to allow you to fulfill your purpose here?”

Those were my questions.  But, you must find your own questions.  What truth are you seeking for yourself?  Your inner spirit knows the answer and is ready to tell you.

Practice listening.  Spend more time talking, listening and trusting your spirit.  It always tells the truth.  And knowing that truth will set you free.

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In my last post I shared some things I wrote right after I was diagnosed as legally blind and again two years later. Each time I wrote it sounded as if I had finally made it.  The truth is I made great progress and was better than I had ever been.

Today things are far better than they were in 2004.  And I know that 2010 will be even better than last year.  I know this because I practice looking for, focusing on and talking about the good that is already here in my life.

I spend time daily being grateful for the good things in my life right now.  I give even greater attention to those things I want more of in my life.

What I have learned is if I want love in my life I cannot see the love if I am focused on hate.  I cannot see peace if I am looking at conflict.  I cannot become well if all I talk about is being sick.  I cannot find more money if I am always focused on finding ways to prove how much I do not have.

Instead of looking at how much money I do not have, I look at, appreciate and give thanks for all that I do have.  I talk about how much more I have this time this year than I had last year.

I talk about how wonderful it is to be home, working from home, doing things I love and I spend time being grateful for that.

I set aside time each day to listen to my inner spirit, to pray and to focus on the things I desire like love, peace, joy, health and prosperity.

Did I get here overnight?  No.  I practice.  I practice each day changing my focus from what I do not want in my life toward all that I do want in my life.

I practice looking for the good.  I practice focusing on the good. I practice being grateful for the good.

So, how do you get from where you are to where you want to be?  Practice, practice, and more practice.

Let’s spend time practicing together focusing on the good in our lives and see how much better things get this new year.

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